I am struck, fairly regularly, by blinding flashes of the obvious! LOL! Good or bad, I take them as they come. I was struck multiple times yesterday! We get so caught up in our mundane routines, forgetting to find and acknowledge those little things we have to be grateful for. Even in the middle of life’s storms, there are nuggets of gratitude waiting to be picked up. Just when I think I’m as blessed as a girl can possibly be, more blessings flood my awareness. Yesterday was no exception.
When I bolted out of my marriage and my ex-husband unleashed his assault full fury, both guns blazing, friends scattered like shrapnel. My best friend of 13+ years literally drove my kids to safety the day I decided to run (to which I am truly grateful) and then ran for cover like her hair was on fire! She wanted as far away as possible from the impending explosion we all knew was headed my way. And she wasn’t alone … so many people I counted as close, intimate friends, “POOF” disappeared, even before the charge detonated. I was heartbroken, devastated and felt utterly betrayed. I stood my ground, mostly alone, as the bomb detonated. I pushed back against the heat and sheltered myself and my kids as the debris enveloped us. It was terrifying, even for those few that stayed in our lives. They were left trembling in the wake of all of the”what ifs” as the family court system began to encapsulate us.
My attorney called yesterday and I puckered as I answered the phone. After 5 years of unrelenting litigation (narcissists play the courts long after the ink has dried on the final decree), I’d had a year off last year. When I saw that phone number my initial thought sounded something like, “Damn it! What “t” didn’t I cross or “i” didn’t I dot that he’s filed motions against me … A-G-A-I-N!” In reality my attorney was calling to check in … you know, like friends do 😉 After spending so many years in constant communication, we had become friends and it dawned on me (my BFO), whomever represents you in high conflict should become a friend. He walked a difficult, rocky, 4 wheel drive only trail with me. Yes, he was being paid however, he was truly out to ensure, to the best of his ability, that my kids and I were fairly represented in family court. I cannot say that all attorneys operate this way. We got to know each other, learned to trust one another and came to deeply respect one another. And, before you think it’s all puppy’s breath, rainbows and unicorn farts, we banged heads too! I know, in the face of battle, he would suit up to fight alongside me and that’s truly priceless. We all need those people in life. Those unexpected friends…
My attorney and I will be having lunch in a few weeks. I’m excited to share with him the future of my practice and how it will help others learn to weather their own storms with a lot of grit seasoned by grace. No one should be left to stand alone as the bomb detonates. No one should be left to shelter in place, pushing back against the heat of the bomb, alone and terrified. No one should be left to clear away the rubble and debris, alone. The horses and I offer a sacred, confidential space enveloped in compassion where people can move out of the darkness of chaos, conflict and the hopelessness tied to freeing oneself from a narcissist while navigating the courts; into the light of healing, joy, peace and whole-heart-ness. My horses and I are here to support you whether you are getting ready to detonate the bomb or you’re beginning to clear away the rubble, untethering your heart and freeing your soul ….
“You are powerful, beautiful, brilliant & brave”